Yeah, okay.

So, long-term commitments for men and keeping the excitement alive, yeah, that it takes effort. It's probably not going to happen naturally, and that is going to take effort on our part in order to, in order to not just bubble back up to the surface level of looking at looks, you know.

Men are more visually based. We tend to be attracted to what we see, and we tend to be attracted to young women. There's that—that's no secret to anybody. And we're all getting older, so, you know, the partner that we are with, you know, they're gonna get older with us. So, things are gonna shift.

So expecting, as a man, to just naturally have all the attraction keep going the same way without any effort on our end is not a realistic expectation. It's gonna take a little work.

The thing, I think the secret behind it, is to realize that what attracted us to a partner initially was visual. It was a superficial level. It was something that was new; there was a novelty aspect to it. That novelty aspect isn’t going to last, and what we're being attracted to, potentially outside of a relationship, that’s just other novelty, and that will ultimately lead to the same place.

So you have two choices: you can either just play with novelty over and over and over again, and it doesn’t get very deep, or you can recognize that the novelty in the relationship you’re in is no longer going to exist on the same level. You need to start to deepen the connection that you’re having.

And there’s a different kind of novelty for you to discover. There’s a novelty of you being honest and open and sharing things about yourself that you’re just discovering. And again, when you invite her to do that, there are new things that you will discover about her. Those are novel things. Those are new things that are happening.

And that’s on the edge of a knife. I mean, if you really want excitement in a relationship, try being very honest and try inviting the other person to be very honest with you. That doesn’t get old. You know, you can go on for decades like that.

And the new things that happen in life—you go from one phase to having children to, you know, to the children moving out and how you’re feeling about those things—there are new levels of novelty and intimacy and edginess that are in there. And that edge can, and really is, more sharp than the novelty of somebody new outside of the relationship.

But again, it takes effort in order to go there.