I think that's maybe making a false assumption, or even going in the wrong direction, thinking that talking about sensitive things shouldn't trigger us. I would say, let it trigger you, and let it play out without you engaging with it, without it becoming an issue. If it's a sensitive topic, we're going to feel something. A topic like past relationships, for example, will trigger emotions. The partner that we're with is going to feel something, too. The trust is knowing that I can feel bad for a minute, I can feel triggered, I can feel crazy, and I'm still safe with this person.

Or, that person can react to it, feel triggered by it, and I know it's not them coming at me. I know they're not attacking me. They're just having a reaction of their own. And then, I can stay perfectly calm and stable right in the middle. They can let it play out and realize, "Oh, wait a minute. I'm safe when I'm with this guy. Or, I'm safe when I'm with this girl. Or, I'm safe when I'm with myself."

And I have this response to it. Difficult topics, triggering topics, are exactly that—they're going to do those things, and we can't process whatever is behind those triggers by avoiding them. We can only process them by allowing them to play out. The whole point of having a genuine, trusting, vulnerable relationship with someone is that you can let these things come out and realize that everyone is still safe.

So, don’t avoid the difficult topics. Whether it’s past relationships or whatever it might be, get to a place with yourself where you're confident and safe enough to let the person share what they need to. You share what you need to with the person. Let it all play out, and then you'll find that you actually have a safe place together. And, if the other person is so triggered that they can't handle themselves, well, maybe they're not the right person for you.