Vulnerability is really tricky for men. We have a certain presence that we're supposed to put out there in order for us to think that other men are gonna respect us. But at the same time, there has to be vulnerability for us to connect with somebody.

The important thing is for us to be wise and judicious about where, when, and with whom we're going to be vulnerable. When it comes to the general public, I think a small amount of honesty and authenticity—and not hiding who we are—is good as a practice. We need to show and be authentic with who we are.

If we're kind of pretending to be one thing but then we're real over here, we confuse ourselves when we don't know who we really are. We need to be consistent in what we're presenting to the world. So that's a little bit of vulnerability.

I think in certain relationships in our lives, we're going to have more vulnerability in those relationships. And I think when we're with an intimate romantic partner, that's probably where we’re going to be the most vulnerable.

One of the misconceptions about vulnerability is that vulnerability means weakness. That's not true. Vulnerability means, Yes, I'm open and I'm connected with you, and yes, you can hurt me. But just because that doorway is open doesn't mean that I'm any less strong inside and where I am.

If you say something hurtful to me, if I put myself out there and you go nuts on me, yes, that'll hurt. But that doesn't mean that I was weak or even that I was foolish.

We have to be vulnerable to have a deep, meaningful connection that's going to nourish us. And we have to be vulnerable in order for us to move forward in the relationship and see if this is the right partner for us.

So vulnerability is inevitably going to be part of a man's own development. It's going to be part of his own moving forward—his own life with himself. And he has to be strategic about when and with whom he does that.