Okay, so the first thing—conflict is absolutely going to be a part of any relationship. Thinking that there shouldn't be conflict, that's just not gonna serve you well. That's not gonna serve you over time. How does conflict, though, how do we prevent it from getting in the way of love?

Okay, well, getting overly defensive, getting stuck in "I'm over here and you're over there," that's being closed off with your heart. It's not the conflict that became a problem for the love in the relationship—it's closing your heart in the midst of the conflict. That's what prevented the love from happening. We can have conflict, you know, be centered in ourselves and still open and be curious to the other person that's in front of us. That's how we can have the conflict and continue loving each other at the same time.

Another important thing to remember about conflict is that conflict is where the opportunity for growth in the relationship happens. And the growth is the deepening of the connection, it's the deepening of the trust, it's the deepening of the intimacy, it's the deepening of getting to know someone that you didn't know well. You knew them a little bit at first, and it keeps getting deeper and deeper and deeper. That depth of knowing somebody is, most of the time, going to come out of choosing to walk towards a person when you're experiencing conflict.

So, conflict is actually a gift when you're with the right person and when you choose to approach it the right way. Because that conflict is the opportunity to actually grow closer together. It's not on the opposite end, and fighting love. Conflict is the invitation to actually go into the deeper love that's possible in a relationship.